stream of thought.

faces and no names,
a broken heart that feels no shame.
severed strings and sharpened teeth
i guess this story will remain incomplete.
like a wind wound blanket unravelling in the wind,
i need somewhere to finish before i shalt begin.
a shattered realm, this face wont tell me lies,
what i can see behind it is enough to send me blind.
i remember stories that never happened and tell tales as if they did,
to change my ways? for this i have no incentive.
just a time-washed clock thats counting down my days,
and a short lived stint with happiness that lingers behind a face.
forewarning, everything you see is a short term endowed
by the a slow inevitable fate that lies hidden in a cloud,
a cloud of dust that shows sense to those who care,
but noone ever cares enough it would seem, do you call that fair?
without intention, to direct this senseless stream of misery,
somehow i know everything i say will come back to me.
im not asking for a helping hand to make me whole again,
but i have grown tiresome of looking for solace in a page and a pen.

upperfuckingcutpunx.

I have decided to stay posi no matter how much he hates it.

anyway, if im better by saturday i will be participating in a new musical uprising known as uppercut.
this new band entails such a lineup:
ed=vox
jt=vox
bradbury=guitar
gigantic truck=bass
moshdave=drums.

i am very excited for this and hope to just have fun, yell at society, be a nuisance and skate hard.
drawing influences from such bands as:
Product of Waste,
Kids Like Us
Ceremony,
Gorilla Biscuits

that is all.

wierd.

i just feel like writing things down, so here goes.

these holidays have been the strangest ever.
ive had so much to do, places to go, runaways to hang with,
but its the off days that have killed me.
not 2 weeks ago, i remember telling someone that to be happy is to look outside into a deep blue sky and forget why you needed to be happy in the first place.
but if this can go through my head then how can it merit my staying in bed til 4:30 on monday.
it makes me sick that i could waste a day like that.
and it feels that im slowly growing further and further away from the outside world.
because i was completely content with lying in bed all day.
to not talk to anyone,
to call my mum to ask her a question when she was one flight of stairs away.
this current situation is at least taking my mind of everything.
maybe i just think to much.

i want to go to back to the coast already and i only got home like 5 stonethrows ago.
id happily sleep in a car again to be out of canberra.
it seemed like everything back here was so obsolete when i was at the coast.
it was probably the people too.

i need to get out of this place.
i need a new job.
i need a fresh start on life.
before the walls close in on this wasted youth of mine and trap me under the rubble of what i thought i knew.

one thing that always makes me happy is that i can always count on family.
both kinds of family.

watching la dispute 2 days in a row was better than any christmas present ive ever had.
i dont think i could thank vance enough for hooking up those shows.
dude is such a pirate.
but la dispute blew my mind.
it kills me how much his words can strike meaning into what goes into my head.
and that abandoned house just made it so much more fitting.
up the punx.

im gonna try sleep now.
if i cant talk to anyone,
il just talk to you from now on.

everything is in your head.
everything.

from justin

xoxo

why

what will me pouring my heart out to this computer do?
will it make everything better?
i hope so.

i am sick of not having someone to call my own.
i hate this situation.
i hate the ultimatum.

RE: this..

i fucking comprend el padre de nomini.

none cunts will split if i have anything to do with it.
in my short time on this earth, i've learnt that friendship is bigger than girls.
if everything that has kept them together since the beginning was ever there, than this wont be it for them.

Eli, Adrian, Daniel.

I feel selfish everyday,
for not taking the time to tell you what you mean to me.
il wake up everyday for the same two things:
to live a life i've found hardly worth living and to think of you and sing.
sometimes i think its failure by the way we were designed,
but we never had a chance, and il never find the time,
to give you all what you deserve,
you keep the smile on my face, and the warm sun on my back
from the second i woke up, until you lose me to the earth.
the dream, the dream lies fresh in my head
i promise now, il strive to it until im dead.
because i owe you more,
than the world will let me give,
and i'd carry it all for you,
because it was you who taught me to sing.

x[

i really wish i didnt go home early last night.
waking up in my own bed was not something i needed.
the worst thing is i dont even remember saying goodbye.
i hate being so insecure about everything.

so my band broke up.
just to clear iit up not that anyone cares anyway, we felt that we werent having fun being in a band together or enjoying the music we played. although im sure deals will be done by all of us in the near future. especially now i am in 100 tigers :)

i miss runaways already.

deals

i miss skateboarding.

how good is it when you discover bands that you've actually had for such a long time yet have neglected to listen too.

have been feeling pretty alright the last couple of days. probably because its hit me that i finish school in about 3 months.
life is mad.

listening to:
Raw life - The Rival Mob
Time Trials - The Mongoloids
The Sound of Breaking Up - Gold Kids

....

more lyrics

Fuck i hope i dont wake up.
No matter how hard i try, its just never enough.
My concious mind is starting to slip.
Will i ever hold a steady grip?
i cant believe i believed your lies,
so much wasted, and its all pouring from my eyes.
the end of the world is far from close.
but the start of much worse than death,
is curled up in a ball inside my chest.
i cant escape this drowning sensation,
im falling further and further through devestation.
if i wake up tomorrow, with this stupid fucking mindset,
i hope i go to sleep with a noose around my neck.
the end.


being an emo is a gang.

...

Stumblin' around and I'll be fucked

That the sun had the guts to rise on us today.

How many hands would it take

To count the nights I've lied awake?

Motionless I contemplate my fate

Came to me while paralyzed.

So far away from your light.

And whoever stays or goes will close their eyes to unfortunate times.

Goodbye purchased disguise.

Don't wanna dwell on my mistakes anymore

Itch the guilt on my conscience now my body's torn from the bad misconceptions that live in my head and a troubled self relationship

It's in my blood to just destruct.

It's only how you look, it don't matter what you say

Fall from the civilization, where you'll find my remains

Disappointed, fucking thrown away

Drifting above the sky

I'll be stuck here on the ground.

Life Long Tragedy are possibly the most life changing event since sliced bread.

runaways...

Are legit the most amazing people in the whole world.
Being in a gang with these cunce is making me go balls deep on life.
I have decided to start compiling a list of all the fucking absurd jive we talk.
To be released soon.

Your all bashed.

.

my everything, my all.
on this day, i have found life not worth living.
living in this shell, is not what i call
living at all.
you held the key to my piece of mind, but now its lost to the wind.

www.myspace.com/falsehopehardcore

fuck the haters.

had a real good time in goulburn recording the new demo.

just fucking sus it then go talk about how shit it is on bgo with the rest of those faggots. x]
so many plays so far though, which we have bgo to thank haha.

x

cold

New lyrics for a song im writing.

It truly means so much to hear these words. Days like these i'l remember for the rest of my life. But theres something missing, always missing. Noone gets what its like, when im the only one whose standing in these shoes. To see the world in black and white, to be standing so far from the light. Truth be told, im everything i never wanted to be. A heartless, gutted shell of a being. Who cant determine as to whether im writing this for your or for myself. I cant, i wont forget when you turned your back and left me behind, left me to brace the cold of this world alone. To fend for myself against this monster i call my mind. Left alone to fight the pain, left outside throwing tears at the rain. Give me closure, before the sun dries me up like it did my life. Give me a reason not to end it all with this fucking knife.

Recording for the first false hope demo next week! Which will be killer because there is a mad crew going up to hang in cabins and brew hard. My weeks been pretty dim, and right now im doing work experience at the folk festival. Which suprisingly hasnt been that bad because ive been at the village stage the whole time watching mad local accoustic acts. Keen to let go and get my life back after what happened and im gonna start this weekend.
I need runaways hangs right now

Cooma Gang Hangs

Cooma trip with runaways cats was staunch inducing. Converge. I was bitching about my back the whole time and as soon as i got home to A-dizzles palace of love and sinked a brew i was all good again. 10 garb of nutrigrain packed into a forey. fuck. hanging until 730 was the best. actually one of the greatest hangs ever. never in the history of mankind has there been more shit talking involved between 3 people and i swear we are getting dumber everytime we hang haha. fuck my life. Runaways is a gang. blogspot is a gang. being in a blogspot gang is a gang. fuck i need to get the word gang out of my system. i felt like the shittest cunt for being so out of it last night. fucked up paycracks shit. every song was angel of death. even reign in blood. all in all, really fucking good night.

Hanging

Cooma's a gang. Cannot wait to celebrate daniels b-day again in cooma. Keen to yell Chicks and other assorted general Statements at people. keen to brew runaways style at adrians. Keen to keep my mind off what today would have been.

Hardcore 2009 looks like its gearing up to one of the best shows i will go to. Cruel Hand have easily been one of my favourite bands for a while and seeing them will mos def get my rocks well off.

Chiicks.

Life

Runaways hangouts are the best. I need someone to find me a job quick smart im out of cash after spending money on rare jungle fever pressings for bullshit cheap. hardcore cash cow for life.

We held a match to keep our sight on the path, but we lost it.

Daniel and adrian and justin hangouts until 5 in the morning are a gang. Really appreciate those cunts for wanting to spend time hanging out with me. I feel like for a long time i neglected my friends, but after recent events i am really going to do everything i can for those cunts close to me.

I hope this next show works out so we can have it in may. It would be so good to get coast crew down and possible brew hangs before after.

TOP 5

Another post about music.

Top 5 bands at the moment.

1. Life Long Tragedy
2. Robotosaurus
3. Have Heart
4. Converge
5. Verse


creepy how it got shorter in perfect concession.

GHOSTS

This meant everything to me. I feel so fucking empty inside. Now that there is nothing left in my life to fucking hide behind. My words wont sway these stone set walls. Walls of Gold. Heart of Wings. It was crushed under the weight of disappoinment. Though i have nothing left. I have everything left to give. But the ghosts in my head arent going anywhere. And as i sit here pouring this out to something as blank as my own fucking head. I Dont have the strength. I dont want the strength to continue. Yet still, at the end of everything i am the one left to pick it up? and its noones fault.

Lyrics for new song ghosts. really siked on it.

Life Long Tragedy

I can't wait to blatantly rip off this band with False Hope's new Tunes. One of the first hardcore bands i really got into.

Nd shit

Heaps keen for hangs tonight. Even more keen on getting my shit sorted out these holidays. i love Audrey Kawasaki .