stream of thought.

faces and no names,
a broken heart that feels no shame.
severed strings and sharpened teeth
i guess this story will remain incomplete.
like a wind wound blanket unravelling in the wind,
i need somewhere to finish before i shalt begin.
a shattered realm, this face wont tell me lies,
what i can see behind it is enough to send me blind.
i remember stories that never happened and tell tales as if they did,
to change my ways? for this i have no incentive.
just a time-washed clock thats counting down my days,
and a short lived stint with happiness that lingers behind a face.
forewarning, everything you see is a short term endowed
by the a slow inevitable fate that lies hidden in a cloud,
a cloud of dust that shows sense to those who care,
but noone ever cares enough it would seem, do you call that fair?
without intention, to direct this senseless stream of misery,
somehow i know everything i say will come back to me.
im not asking for a helping hand to make me whole again,
but i have grown tiresome of looking for solace in a page and a pen.

upperfuckingcutpunx.

I have decided to stay posi no matter how much he hates it.

anyway, if im better by saturday i will be participating in a new musical uprising known as uppercut.
this new band entails such a lineup:
ed=vox
jt=vox
bradbury=guitar
gigantic truck=bass
moshdave=drums.

i am very excited for this and hope to just have fun, yell at society, be a nuisance and skate hard.
drawing influences from such bands as:
Product of Waste,
Kids Like Us
Ceremony,
Gorilla Biscuits

that is all.

wierd.

i just feel like writing things down, so here goes.

these holidays have been the strangest ever.
ive had so much to do, places to go, runaways to hang with,
but its the off days that have killed me.
not 2 weeks ago, i remember telling someone that to be happy is to look outside into a deep blue sky and forget why you needed to be happy in the first place.
but if this can go through my head then how can it merit my staying in bed til 4:30 on monday.
it makes me sick that i could waste a day like that.
and it feels that im slowly growing further and further away from the outside world.
because i was completely content with lying in bed all day.
to not talk to anyone,
to call my mum to ask her a question when she was one flight of stairs away.
this current situation is at least taking my mind of everything.
maybe i just think to much.

i want to go to back to the coast already and i only got home like 5 stonethrows ago.
id happily sleep in a car again to be out of canberra.
it seemed like everything back here was so obsolete when i was at the coast.
it was probably the people too.

i need to get out of this place.
i need a new job.
i need a fresh start on life.
before the walls close in on this wasted youth of mine and trap me under the rubble of what i thought i knew.

one thing that always makes me happy is that i can always count on family.
both kinds of family.

watching la dispute 2 days in a row was better than any christmas present ive ever had.
i dont think i could thank vance enough for hooking up those shows.
dude is such a pirate.
but la dispute blew my mind.
it kills me how much his words can strike meaning into what goes into my head.
and that abandoned house just made it so much more fitting.
up the punx.

im gonna try sleep now.
if i cant talk to anyone,
il just talk to you from now on.

everything is in your head.
everything.

from justin

xoxo

why

what will me pouring my heart out to this computer do?
will it make everything better?
i hope so.

i am sick of not having someone to call my own.
i hate this situation.
i hate the ultimatum.

RE: this..

i fucking comprend el padre de nomini.

none cunts will split if i have anything to do with it.
in my short time on this earth, i've learnt that friendship is bigger than girls.
if everything that has kept them together since the beginning was ever there, than this wont be it for them.

Eli, Adrian, Daniel.

I feel selfish everyday,
for not taking the time to tell you what you mean to me.
il wake up everyday for the same two things:
to live a life i've found hardly worth living and to think of you and sing.
sometimes i think its failure by the way we were designed,
but we never had a chance, and il never find the time,
to give you all what you deserve,
you keep the smile on my face, and the warm sun on my back
from the second i woke up, until you lose me to the earth.
the dream, the dream lies fresh in my head
i promise now, il strive to it until im dead.
because i owe you more,
than the world will let me give,
and i'd carry it all for you,
because it was you who taught me to sing.

x[

i really wish i didnt go home early last night.
waking up in my own bed was not something i needed.
the worst thing is i dont even remember saying goodbye.
i hate being so insecure about everything.

so my band broke up.
just to clear iit up not that anyone cares anyway, we felt that we werent having fun being in a band together or enjoying the music we played. although im sure deals will be done by all of us in the near future. especially now i am in 100 tigers :)

i miss runaways already.